Trauma, Trauma, Trauma

this little man had his two month checkup today, and it was a traumatic experience for all involved. let me just say this - vaccinations suck. i mean, i'm sure they're preferable to the various bacterial and viral infections they're protecting him against, but it sucks to hold your baby still (or try to, anyway) while a nurse pokes him repeatedly with a needle (actually, 4 different needles, not the same needle over and over). especially when he starts emitting high-pitched screams as soon as the first needle pokes him, and then he proceeds to turn purple and stop breathing for a few seconds between said high-pitched screams (but with his face still scrunched up like he's screaming, only silently), and this continues well after the poking and injecting are through.

the rotavirus vaccine was ok - it was given by mouth, and max thought it was pretty tasty.

other than the pain and screaming from the injections, max's doctor's appointment went well. he's 23 inches, 11 lbs. 8 oz. now (so he's gaining about an ounce a day). that puts him in the 50th percentile for size compared to other two-month old babies, and his height and weight are still in perfect proportion, so i guess he's not going to be one of those super-chubby babies covered in cute little fat rolls. my brother was one of those babies. i was not. oh well. it just means that max will be able to wear all his clothes for a long time instead of growing out of them practically overnight, despite his fairly rapid growth rate.

something else to mention is max's teeny tiny little head. it doesn't look tiny. i think it looks huge (well, compared to how small it was when he first popped out) and in good proportion with his body. but his head circumference (38 cm) is only in the 10th percentile. so 90% of two month old babies have bigger heads than max!

his tiny head isn't a bad thing, though. he's doing everything he's supposed to be able to do at this age - and some things that a lot of three month old babies can't do yet (like bat at toys on purpose, roll onto their sides, and hold their heads steady for long periods of time). by his next checkup at 4 months, max will be able to roll all the way over onto his tummy and grasp objects and put them in his mouth. he already coos and babbles up a storm, and he smiles at us frequently. overall, he's a pretty happy kid.

i must say, his sleeping habits have also improved dramatically. for the past four or five nights, max has been sleeping for a minimum of 5 hours at a time after i lay him down in the crib. when he wakes up at 4 or 5:00 a.m., he doesn't want to go back to sleep, but 5 consecutive hours of sleep are much better than 5 or 6 interrupted hours of sleep. and last night, max pretty much slept all night! for the first time! and i was worried when i woke up at 5:35 (all by my lonesome, not because i heard a noise) and realized that max hadn't made a peep yet! and we'd gone to bed at 11:00. so i had to get up and check on him. and he was snoozing away in his crib, perfectly fine. then he got whiny at 5:45, so i went ahead and got up with him. it was pretty crazy, waking up on my own instead of to a crying baby. it's been forever since that happened - like since before max was born.

he's even sleeping right now. he's slept an awful lot today, actually. i think it's all those shots. fever is a common side effect of three out of five vaccines he received today, and pain/swelling at the injection site is common in two of them (only one looks swollen, though). the rotavirus vaccine can sometimes cause diarrhea or vomiting, but so far so good. the doc advised me to go ahead and give him some infant tylenol when we got home, and i just gave him another dose, so we're pretty much trying to preempt any fever that might develop (and relieve the pain in the poor baby's legs). he's been a little fussy, but mostly max has just been sleepy today. he should be pretty much back to normal by tomorrow night.

So Many Things...

wow, it's been a long time, dudes. there are SO MANY THINGS i have wanted to blog about lately, but i just have not had the time since i went back to work. well, since i started going back to the lab, anyway. max goes to the lab with me on thursdays and fridays, and that's working out really well - he's pretty much been a perfect little angel while i do what i have to do, and i've even avoided any screaming fits during diaper changes while we're there. actually, he's never pitched a screaming fit when i've changed him in public - ever. i know, i'm as surprised as you are.

since i don't have time for details, here are the highlights of what i've wanted to blog about for the past few weeks:

• while he has not actually outgrown anything yet, max is probably going to outgrow one of his sleepers and two pairs of his newborn size pants soon
• max is getting huge - he is hovering somewhere near 11 lbs now - i'll know exactly how much he weighs next wednesday when i take him for his 2 month checkup.
  
• here's a picture of him napping in his swing, taken about 5 minutes ago.
  

• see? i told you so - huge.
• ignore the fact that both those pants and that t-shirt are size newborn.
• i am about to stop buying newborn diapers, although they do still fit him
• i am afraid that if i go buy two more weeks worth of newborn diapers, he will outgrow them suddenly, and i will be stuck with 80-160 newborn diapers
• plus, size 1 diapers don't completely swallow him anymore
• and we have 3 packs of size 1 diapers that we've had since before he was born
• but we haven't used any yet because until now they've been massively huge on him
• and pee cannot be contained in a massively huge diaper

some more stuff, not directly related to max (but still sort of in the max ballpark), that i've also been dying to vent about:

• my MIL loves max to death
• but she kind of makes me crazy
• because she doesn't listen
• i don't want other people to 'clean' my house
• especially when 'cleaning' just involves taking some stuff from one place and putting it in another place
• then i can't find anything
• because it's not where i put it
• eat my food, watch my tv, read my books, play with my baby, feed my baby, change my baby, put my baby down for a nap or two (on his back, NOT his tummy)
  
• that's what i want you to do when you're alone in my house watching my kid
  
• closed doors = don't go in there
• right?
• you know that, don't you?
• then why do some people think that just because they're alone in your house watching your kid (which is much appreciated) they can go into rooms and do things that they wouldn't do if you were home?
• rooms with closed doors
• the road to hell is paved with good intentions
• and good intentions are driving me crazy
• my MIL brings MORE STUFF for max EVERY WEEK when she comes over to baby-sit
• our house is not that big
• max is too young to know what the stuff is or to appreciate that it is for him, and he's rapidly accumulating more stuffed animals than i know what to do with
• i should never have told her i like monkeys
• she's really gone overboard with the monkeys
• she will buy anything if it has a monkey on it, regardless of whether we need it or already have two of them
• i don't like things whose sole purpose is taking up space and looking cute
• if my kid is going to wear a special holiday outfit, i want to be the one to pick it out
• she had her kid, and therefore her chance to dress him in special outfits
  
• max is NOT her kid
• he is MINE
• and i am a possessive bee-otch
• i like things a CERTAIN WAY
• and i don't take it well when that certain way is messed with
• babies need naps
• sometimes they don't want to take naps
• and they get cranky
• so sometimes you just have to hold and rock a baby for forever to make him take a nap
• because staying awake ALL DAY?
• does NOT help him sleep at night
• it actually makes the sleeping thing harder for him
• and i'm the one who gets to deal with the cranky baby who can't stay asleep
• so when i say the baby needs to take naps during the day or go to bed around 9:00, he really does need to
• he will be cranky at 9:00 because he's had a long day with someone in his face talking all day, and he needs to wind down
• so you have to walk around with him and talk to him in a soft and soothing voice until he falls asleep
• letting him stay awake until 11:00 because playing with him keeps him happier than putting him to sleep doesn't make the putting him to sleep any easier
• it actually just makes it that much harder because it's two hours later, and now mommy can barely hold her eyes open and doesn't really have the patience or the energy to put the cranky baby to sleep - and it means that mommy gets less sleep than she otherwise would
• and mommy needs every minute of sleep she can possibly manage
  
• so the baby? he needs to go to bed around 9:00. or even 8:00 if he seems sleepy then.
• i really do know what i'm talking about
• because i do this EVERY DAY
  

One Month

this little guy is one month old today! isn't he a doll?






















thanks to ross and kristen, max has pacifiers with his name on them.

Allergies?

dudes. when you have a baby, there is constantly something for you to worry about. and you are obsessed with poop. for instance, baby poo at this stage (and up until he starts eating solids) is supposed to be mustardy yellow. max's poo was yellow for about a week and a half or so. and then it turned green. and then he started to get little bumps on his face. at first i thought it was no big deal. babies usually get a little bit of infant acne, and it clears up on its own. but then the bumps started to spread. all over his little face. and then under his chin and jaw. and then to the back of his neck and shoulders. holy crap. and then there's the stuffy nose and his red little bottom. i called the doctor about his stuffy nose a week ago when it first appeared. they told me that as long he's not running a fever and he's eating well, it's nothing to worry about. i just have to keep suctioning the snot out when it starts to bother him. but wait. it gets better. last week there were days when no matter i did, i could not make max stop crying. i just had to hold him and rock him while he cried until he finally fell asleep. he was extremely fussy for two days, and i had no idea why. he's usually so chill about everything. but for a few days i could not put him down because the instant i did he started howling.

so i started reading everything i could get my hands on to explain the rash. and the fussing. and the green poop. and i found my answer in the nursing mother's companion. an answer that encompassed ALL of max's symptoms - the poop, the rash, the fussing, and even the stuffy nose and red bottom. a food sensitivity or allergy causing lower belly discomfort. meaning something i'm eating is seriously disagreeing with him. the most common culprits? chocolate, dairy products, citrus fruits, and certain vegetables. tomatoes, nuts, and acidic fruits also upset some babies' tummies. so i started to think about what i've eaten over the last week or two that i did not eat for the first week or two of max's life. only two things come to mind - chocolate and nuts/peanut butter. so on friday i decided to stop eating these things. max is still very rashy and his poop is still very green. but he is slightly less fussy (he's fallen asleep on his own in his bouncer twice this morning, and he is sleeping there right now). so maybe there is improvement.

i called his doctor's office this morning and spoke to a nurse anyway. i told her of my suspicion that it might be a food allergy. she asked lots of questions to rule out other causes for the rash and asked me about other symptoms max may have (are his eyes crusty - yes, a little. has he been coughing a lot - occasionally). i told her the foods i've been avoiding for a couple of days. she said that if he starts to cough a lot (this could mean that the allergen is itching his throat and possibly causing it to swell) or if his face and/or eyes start to swell, i need to bring him in to see the doctor that day. if he pretty much stays the same, i can wait until his regular check-up appointment on friday. so we'll see how it goes, and hopefully the little guy will get better. it looks to me like the bumps on his forehead are clearing up, but they're still pretty prominent everywhere else.

here's hoping my kid doesn't develop serious food allergies.

Figuring Things Out

i think the sleep situation may improving around here, folks. well, as much as it can with a 3 week old baby in the house. last night i got 6 hours. woo hoo! and i got those 6 hours between the hours of 10:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. while actually sleeping in the same bed with my husband. max chose to cooperate last night and sleep in his crib (!) for a few solid 2 or 3 hour blocks. the fact that i am now a pro at both ignoring random baby sounds that aren't crying when they're magnified by the baby monitor (though even the tiniest and briefest of cries wakes me instantly) and at falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow (or sometimes in the rocking chair while i'm trying to get max to go back to sleep after a feeding) also helps in the sleeping more department. so now i can get 5 or 6 hours of sleep at night before chad has to get up to go work instead of 2 or 3 hours. that is seriously how much sleep i've been operating on... and i usually only get those few hours of z's if i completely give up and just hold max in my bed or on the couch so i can sleep for a couple of hours. he usually falls asleep in either his swing or his bouncer for an hour or so at a time during the day, but i find it incredibly difficult to take naps during the day for some reason. i always feel like i need to be cleaning up or doing something else while he's sleeping. i've been taking a nap after chad gets home from work, though. it's amazing how a few months ago i was a total zombie after a few nights of less than 7 hours of sleep, and now i feel amazingly good after one night with 6 hours. 6 interrupted hours.

i am also figuring out a few things about max. like how to avoid the death screams when it's time to change a diaper or take a bath. it's not always possible, but sometimes it is. if max is awake and fairly calm when you strip him down, he takes being naked pretty well (thank god he was awake when i took him for his weight check at the doctor's office last week - i had to change his diaper and then strip all his clothes off to weigh him, and he didn't make a peep). he gets a little fussy toward the end of a sponge bath, but it's not the same as the usual ear-splitting wail that persists for the entire bath. he's definitely getting better at getting changed and bathed.

oh, and if you wondering about max's first doctor visit, it went well. he weighed 7 lbs 12 oz, and the nurse said he looked really good (so we avoided the jaundice thing). did i tell you about the jaundice thing? i don't remember. well, max and i have different blood types, he's a boy, and he's breast fed, which all increase his chances of becoming jaundiced. so they were sticking needles in his heels every few hours in the hospital to check his bilirubin levels. i felt so sorry for him. anyway, his pediatrician told us about max's increased risk for jaundice while we were still in the hospital and told us to keep an eye out for any yellowing of his skin or eyes when we came home. his bilirubin levels were slightly elevated in the hospital, but they weren't high enough for him to be considered jaundiced. the doc just told us to put him in front of a window with lots of sunlight for a little while and to call if he started to look yellow. so i was always freaking out and asking myself whether max was turning yellow and inspecting him in different rooms with different lighting. i never thought he looked yellow. just that sweet peachy-pink that babies are supposed to be. anyway, he never got jaundice, which is good. basically, he's pretty much perfect. he's gaining weight like a champ, and i can definitely tell that he's bigger now than when we brought him home. the vast majority of his clothes are still way huge on him, but he's working on growing into them. we have 5 newborn size sleepers that fit him really well and a whole bunch that are too big but he wears anyway. the onesies are kind of big but not too bad, but his pants totally look like m.c. hammer pants. so i had to go and buy him a few pairs of newborn size pants to go with the onesies (because it's been too chilly for him to go without pants, yo). they're still a little big on him. 5-8 lbs my ass. [newborn size clothes are supposed to fit babies 5-8 lbs, and max is over 8 lbs now]

ok, that's my update for now. more to come later.

I Made This...

and now i am completely exhausted and sleep deprived. i have no idea how i'm going to find the energy to go back to work. at least he's cute.

Things About Max

• today he is 11 days old
  
• he pees on me at least twice a day
• sometimes he poops on me, too
• strangely, i don't really mind. chad and i just laugh about it like crazy people.
• he refuses to sleep in his crib
• he doesn't like to sleep alone
• he loves it when i put in him bed with me
• he will sleep in his bouncer, sometimes in his swing, and most recently in his play pen - but never in his crib. even if he was impossible to wake up five minutes before, as soon as i put him down in the crib, he wakes up and usually starts crying.
• he only likes the soothie pacifier from the hospital, not the other pacifiers that we have
• he likes to fall asleep with his pacifier, but once he's really sleeping he spits it out
• he hates to be naked
• he really hates diaper changes and sponge baths
• i can't stand to hear him cry
  
• today his umbilical cord fell off
• today he tried to talk to me with baby noises that weren't cries or grunts
• he smiles right before he poops
• he purses his lips when i run a finger from his nose down to his chin
  
• he always sleeps with his hands by his face
• the sound of the microwave door closing startles him (but the microwave dinging doesn't, and neither do most other loud noises)
• his tiny head makes my tiny child hands look huge (my little sister's hands have been bigger than mine for over 4 years, ever since she was 10)
  
• he is pretty much the cutest baby ever
• he is pretty much a peeing machine
• he spits up a lot
• he makes me worry about him constantly (is he eating enough? too much? is he pooping enough? is he gaining weight? is he spitting up too much? am i completely screwing him up?)
  
• i am hopelessly in love with him
  

Epidural = Best Invention EVER

i'm sure you've all been anxiously awaiting a post about me and max, but i've been so completely consumed by him for the past 9 days that i haven't found any time until now (he's napping in his bouncer and probably won't wake up until around 11:30). isn't he cute? i love that he still likes his hands up by his face, just like in all the ultrasounds.


















first off, i highly recommend getting an epidural to anyone who gives birth. i spent about an hour and a half feeling the pain get worse before asking for it. well, that's not really true. my nurse told me they could give me something through my IV before the pain got really bad, then we could call the anesthesiologist for my epidural. well, i took the pain meds through the IV, and all it did was make me sleepy - and the contractions still hurt way too bad for me to sleep through them. which sucked. really, i think the pain would have been more bearable if the contractions were more than 2 minutes apart right from the start. as soon as dr. g. broke my water, things started moving FAST. so anyway, i asked for the epidural, which i got around 9:45, and i felt absolutely no pain after that. i got a walking epidural instead of the regular variety (basically just a lower dose of the drugs), so i could still feel and move my legs, though my left one was a little tingly. by the time i got the epidural my contractions were coming every minute. this was probably because of the pitocin that was used to induce my labor, which they ended up cutting off completely after about another hour (it was making the contractions too intense). so basically, all the pitocin did was get things moving. it was started at about 6:30 a.m., dr. g. broke my water at 7:30 a.m., and max arrived in the world screaming his bloody head off at 1:32 p.m. after exactly 3 contractions worth of pushing (about 5-10 minutes).

chad was really freaked out by how fast things went. dr. g. came in to check my progress about 1:15, then all of a sudden they were moving in a delivery table and taking apart my bed to prep for max's arrival. then we were pushing (but not for very long), and i didn't feel a thing. and suddenly we had a baby. i'm pretty sure chad was in shock. he said he needed a little more warning. i mean, we were fully expecting not to have a baby until late into the night, but things just went so quickly. then dr. g. stitched me up and took care of me while chad went over to the other side of the room where they were cleaning max up and weighing and measuring him (7 lbs, 7 oz, 20.5 inches). then the baby nurse handed max over to his daddy, who held him while dr. g. was finishing up with me. then chad handed max over to me once my bed was all in order, and we had a nice little family moment. we spent about an hour, just the three of us, learning how to breast feed, and just marveling at this little person we made. then chad started making phone calls and we let his parents come in to meet their grandson. deva and vanessa were also there to greet max on his first day in the world. then they whisked max off to the nursery for an hour or so for tests. but they brought him back right away. both days we were in the hospital, max was pretty much chillin' in my room, which i loved. every time they took him off to the nursery for something, they brought him right back.

my mom, sister, aunt, and brother arrived later on that afternoon (my sis had a CAT scan that day in preparation for her tonsilectomy) to spend some time with us. then we brought max home last wednesday. i'm not gonna lie, it hasn't been easy, what with having to feed him every 2-3 hours and figure out to sleep somehow at the same time. the past few nights, chad and i have been doing shift sleeping. i've been pumping bottles for chad to feed max while i sleep for a few hours, then i stay up with max and chad goes to sleep. max refuses to sleep in his crib. he does pretty well in his bouncer, though, so i think we're just going to try letting him sleep in the bouncer in our room. this shift sleeping thing isn't going to work for us next week when chad has to go back to work. we're trying to gradually get max used to sleeping in his crib, but so far he's only lasted about half an hour at a time in there. hopefully moving the bouncer into our room and letting him sleep there will work out for us.

ok, the little guy is waking up now, and he needs a diaper. i have so much more to say about him, and hopefully i'll find some time soon.

This Is So Not Right

dudes (and dudettes), i live in the south. the extremely deep south. which means that once in a blue moon in january we will have low temperatures in the 20's and highs in the 40's (as opposed to our usual lows in the 40's and highs in the upper 50's to low 60's or warmer). but we should NEVER experience a high temperature of 39 degrees. if i wanted to live in a climate with high temperatures barely above freezing, i would move up north (to like, tennessee or virginia). but i LIKE it warm. and i don't like the fact that is currently 37 degrees and raining, and it's not getting any warmer today. blah.

The End Is Near

so i just got back from the doctor (well, i made a few phone calls before i logged on here), and max's birthday is all set to be monday (martin luther king day)! yay! i'm so stoked about it, in case you can't tell. i am so ready to have him be on the outside, it's not even funny.

today's ultrasound looked really good. max decided to let us have a look at his cute little baby cheeks today instead of just his cute little baby back, and he looks suitably plump and cute, even on a fuzzy ultrasound. he weighs approximately 7 pounds 12 ounces, though the sonographer did say that ultrasounds tend to overestimate the weight a wee bit. but dr. g. says that 7 lbs 12 oz is just about perfect. sounds ok to me. i would be worried if he were over 8.5 lbs, but 7.5 to 8 lbs is fine with me. he's still measuring a few days behind where i actually am in my pregnancy (he measured 38 weeks 4 days today, but i am actually 39 weeks 0 days), but he's a good weight, he moves a lot, and he appears to be just fine. and he's going to be born on monday! unless i go into labor before then, which dr. g. says is definitely a possibility.

as it stands, i have to go to the hospital sunday night at 7:30, when they will give me something to help dilate my cervix and possibly start some contractions, though i am assured that any contractions at that point will be very mild, and i should be able to sleep through them. then first thing monday morning (6 a.m.), a nurse will wake me up, and i can get up and shower and stuff (thank god, because not showering makes me feel really icky). then around 8:00 a.m. dr. g. will come in and check on me and probably go ahead and break my water and start me on oxytocin to get the contractions going. so we will have a baby sometime on monday. once again, yay!

Stupid Blood Pressure...

as you may know, i went back to dr. g. yesterday so she could check on my progress with this whole baby thing. the news was pretty much the same - 1 cm dilated, but this time i'm about 50% effaced (i.e., my cervix is halfway thinned out), so i am making some progress, however slow it may be. my blood pressure was 158/90, which is bad, and i'm getting headaches pretty frequently (a symptom of high blood pressure - up until the last few days, i haven't had any symptoms). i'm also swelling up a lot, especially when i go to the lab.

so, taking all of that into account, dr. g. doesn't want to let me go the usual two weeks past my due date before they induce labor. she wants to see me in her office again on friday, and she wants me to have another ultrasound to get a biophysical profile of the baby. then we're going to schedule a day to induce next week. when i left her office yesterday, dr. g. and one of her nurses were checking her calendar for a day for me to deliver next week. we will schedule it on friday.

dr. g. actually said that if i'd been 2 or 3 cm dilated, she would have brought me back in yesterday, and we would most likely have had a baby by now. but alas, i was not. dr. g. definitely wants me to deliver soon (so do i, duh), and neither of us wants me to have a c-section (the very thought scares the crap out of me). since i'm still not very dilated (the first 3 cm of dilation can take two to three weeks and go largely unnoticed except by a doctor or midwife), dr. g. also decided to strip the membranes on my cervix to try to speed things along. i must say, that was a little painful (though i'm sure it's nothing compared to actual labor), and so far nothing has happened. i don't think dr. g. expected me to go into labor between yesterday and friday, though. i think she mainly stripped the membranes to try to get me dilated a little more before we induce next week. the point is, no matter what, max will arrive before his due date (which is next friday).

chad's a little bit concerned about this scheduled induction thing, mostly because of my strong desire for privacy. he's sure that as soon as we tell his parents when we're scheduled to induce, they'll rush right over to the hospital, never mind that they will most likely be sitting there in the waiting room for anywhere from 8-24 hours or more. and of course, they'll want to see me. i absolutely refuse to have anyone in the delivery room except chad, and i'm not exactly thrilled with the idea of visitors while i'm in the middle of painful contractions... or while i'm drowsy from the epidural and just want to nap. i've had this discussion with my mom, and she is not surprised by my desire for privacy (she's had 25 years to figure me out, after all). i want to have our families there shortly after the baby arrives, but i don't want them rushing in right after the baby's born. i'd like to have at least a few minutes with max before a flock of family members rushes in and snatches him away. and it's basically going to be up to chad to make sure i get what i want in this situation. he thinks it would be much easier to keep people out of the room if he could just call them when we get to the hospital (at which time, i would theoretically be a few hours into labor, and it would take 1.5 to 2 hours for our people to make it to the hospital). and he's probably right. but i don't know why we can't just tell them what time we're scheduled to induce and then have them come to the hospital 6-8 hours later. we can always keep them updated with phone calls. so i'm not sure how this is going to work. i guess if they're ok with potentially spending the night in a hospital waiting room, i'm ok with it too, as long as i don't have to keep being bitchy and kicking people out of the room. i guess some people want a whole herd of supporters around while they're in labor, but i am SO NOT one of those people. just so you know. i want my family and friends to be there to see our baby, but i really DO NOT want them around for the messy and uncomfortable parts.

Dear Max...

dear max,

please come a little earlier than your EDD (that's estimated date of delivery in pregnancy-speak). you see, you really need to be here before january 28 because that's going to be a pretty hectic week in the family. your lovely aunt sammi (your mom's baby sister) is having surgery that day. see, she's been staying really sick lately, and the specialist is not willing to wait until her spring break to take her tonsils out. so your nana will be a little preoccupied that week feeding sammi ice cream and popsicles.

also, your grandpa has to go for jury duty on january 28, and i know he really wants to be here to greet you after you come into the world.

so, do your relatives (and your parents) a favor, and arrive ASAP, ok?

love,
your mom

Waiting Game

and i'm so not good at waiting. at my doctor's appointment last week, i was informed that at this point we're pretty much just waiting for me to go into labor. max has reached full term (though my due date is still 2.5 weeks away) and would be perfectly healthy if he were born right this minute. he probably weighs about 7-7.5 pounds right now (he was 6 lbs. 12 oz. at my ultrasound last week), and i am SO READY for him to come out of my uterus and into the world. however, dr. g. was not so encouraging as far as telling us that max will arrive any minute. her exact words were "you still have a lot of work to do on your cervix." she used those same words at my appointment yesterday, though she did say that i'm 1 cm dilated. which is pretty much nothing, but it's better than last week. she also gave me copies of my medical history sheets to give to the labor and delivery nurse when we finally do have to go to the hospital.

i'm considering cutting back my hours at work a little sooner than i'd planned. i had originally planned to work my 20 hours per week at DISL and still do HPLC on my own stuff two days per week right up until max is born. however, i am now thinking that might not be such a good idea. my blood pressure is staying pretty high these days, and my feet and ankles are now pretty much swollen all the time - but the swelling somehow manages to get even worse when i go to the lab, despite my sitting around with my feet up on a stool while i pick samples and stare into a microscope. sounds like a pretty low-key job, right? you'd think so, but i am the queen of finding ways to injure myself, and yesterday was a doozy in that department. i pretty much tried to cut off a finger or two when capping a little teeny glass sample vial. that takes a special kind of talent, right?

here's what happened - i spent all day picking the little critters out of a sample of benthic material from the delta and sorting them into vials of alcohol. i labeled all the vials and was putting caps on them when one decided that instead of getting a lid put on it, it wanted to shatter into zillions of pieces right as i was pressing the cap down on it. so, picture my fingers holding a little plastic cap about a centimeter in diameter and pressing down onto a little glass vial as it shatters. then picture shards of glass slicing into the side of my right hand ring finger to the left of the fingernail and gouging out a chunk of skin while a different shard of glass slices up my thumb. now imagine all my lab mates freaking out a tad as a i drip blood down the hall on the way to the bathroom to rinse the cuts out (can't have little pieces of glass stuck in there, you know). in their defense, i was bleeding pretty profusely, so some of their freaking out was justified. so katy and susan came into the bathroom to check on me, and i sent katy off for neosporin, gauze, and medical tape (believe me, band-aids just wouldn't suffice at that point) while susan volunteered to clean up the blood i'd dripped down the hall. i wrapped my cut and bleeding fingers in paper towels, and charlie went for ice. then katy came back and bandaged up my finger and thumb with neosporin-covered gauze, and i propped my arm up on the counter with my hand pointing up and tried to simultaneously keep ice and pressure on the bleeding wounds. a fair amount of blood managed to soak through the gauze on my finger, and katy changed the bandage for me before i left work for my doctor's appointment. i sat there with ice and pressure on the cuts for about 40 minutes before i had to leave for the doctor's office, and i was still bleeding when we changed the bandages before i left. it was pretty gross. the bleeding had stopped by the time i got home from my doctor's appointment and exchanged the gauze for regular band-aids. i did make my finger bleed again last night when i cleaned it out with peroxide before changing the band-aids again. and now it hurts pretty bad. and i'm sure it will for a long time. i think i'll have to go out later to by more band-aids, since i'm almost down to the really tiny and oddly-shaped ones in my variety box.

on a less bloody and gruesome subject, chad and i finished the nursery last week. i would have posted pictures then, but as you are aware, my internet was not working. so you can look at them now and get all those bloody images out of your head.


standing in the doorway of the nursery















the crib/changing table with the sweet wall decorations
















the crib bedding and mobile
















the corner behind the changing table with the diaper stacker, bookshelf, diaper champ, and laundry basket (it's full of new clothes that need to be washed before max wears them)




















the changing table has convenient drawers and shelves for storing clothes, burp cloths, and extra diapers and wipes




















the corner with my sweet rocking chair




















the nursery is all ready to go. now we just need the baby to put in it. you hear that, max?

Philadelphia goaltender stops 54 shots in victory

so, why doesn't antero niittymaki get more starts in net for the flyers when he has games like this? i'm sure you all know how i feel about this guy (i pretty much love him), but for some reason martin biron has been getting all the love this season, even after playing rather poorly in several consecutive games at times. with the two absolutely phenomenal games niitty has played in his last two starts, i'm wondering if he'll be playing in atlanta on tuesday. after all, his career stats against the thrashers are leaps and bounds better than biron's, and he's playing amazing hockey these days. i guess we shall see.

AT&T Sucks

first things first, i will wish everyone a happy new year (belatedly) and vanessa a happy birthday (it was yesterday). i would have done this much sooner, but at&t conspired against me. bastards. see, our phone (and thus our dsl) went out monday night (new year's eve) and was just repaired this morning. i also had issues with it last friday, if you recall, but they fixed it when i called that time. but when i reported the problem on new year's day, nothing was done and my report was ignored. i didn't really expect it to get fixed on new year's day, but i thought that surely someone would check it out on wednesday. however, i was mistaken. despite my leaving contact information, no one ever called to let me know what was wrong with our phone line or tell me if and when someone would come to our house to check it out. so on thursday i called AGAIN to see what was up - and those bastards told me the problem was with our equipment (not true, btw) not their system. which means that they just don't do anything? that's nuts. especially since the automated reporting system just tells you that if they send a technician out and the problem is with your system only they'll charge you $85 to fix it. they also ask for contact information just in case this is true so that the technician can get in touch with you. so i was expecting a phone call at the very least but got nothing.

anyway, we unplugged absolutely everything in our house from the phone lines and then chad disconnected our house from the line outside. and we called our phone number. and got a busy signal. on a line that was not in any way connected to anything in our house. obviously, the problem was NOT with our equipment. so chad called them back this time and told them that they'd better send someone over to fix it ASAP and credit our bill for the 5 days of service they didn't deliver or they'd be losing a customer. so they told him they would send someone out this morning. we never saw or talked to anyone (which we should have only had to do if they had to come inside the house), but our phone line and dsl are working once again. but at&t and their shitty customer service still suck.

The World Is Full of Surprises

wow. this has been a very surprising weekend, hockey-wise. first, the ice pilots really made a game of it against the league-leading texas wildcatters friday night (though the 4-1 loss wouldn't suggest that), managed to pull out an overtime win against florida last night in a very exciting game, and lost by just one goal tonight, taking a really crappy game after two periods and making it exciting in the end. overall, this weekend was the best i've seen them play all year (we missed their most phenomenal game of the season wednesday night against mississippi)... and this crappy team has won 3 of their last 5 games. impressive for them. and i'm really digging the new guy, jason bloomingburg. and the not-so-new-anymore guy, bryan esner. i was really stoked when we got him from south carolina, and that trade seems to be paying off. both of these guys are very small in stature (don't let that 5' 11" claim by bloomingburg fool you - he might be 5' 8"... but boy did he kick dan collins's much larger ass in their fight tonight), but they have really great energy.

so after spending much of the weekend in pensacola, i came home tonight to this headline on at&t's hockey page. i never thought i would see 'hatcher leads flyers past' anyone. he is SO NOT a scorer (as his diminutive 80 goals in 1,022 career games will attest)... and he's not that awesome a defenseman, either, if you ask me. but i am quite glad that the flyers pulled out the win over florida. i am also happy to see antero niittymaki finally getting some love - and that he posted a shutout. he should really get more playing time than he does, even if martin biron has established himself as the no. 1 goalie in philadelphia.

Christmas Photos

the christmas tree with all the gifts at my aunt jo's house















chad and i are chillin' on the couch before the gift-opening madness begins















my little sis opening her big, huge present...




















a sparkly pink electric guitar!




















sammi's dog tinkerbell likes to snuggle up with mom















unfortunately, i don't have any cute baby pics, since dylan didn't arrive until after 9:00 p.m. on christmas day, after chad and i had gone home (we had to work, yo). :(

but just you wait. next year, there will be ALL KINDS of cute baby pics. damien will have dylan christmas morning (he'll be 3 by then, so not exactly a baby, but he'll still be adorable), plus we'll have max (hopefully, we'll have max really soon 'cause i'm REALLY tired of being pregnant)! yay babies!

Craft-y Books

i have had this book for a while now, but i just now felt the need to express to the internet how much i love it - mostly because i haven't had a whole lot of time lately to do anything crafty. it has great illustrated instructions for different knitting techniques, and the patterns included in it are really cute. i am currently working on the crib blanket from this book, and i think it's going to turn out really well. there's also a pattern for a really cute wrap cardigan that i want to try (whenever i get a chance).














winter always makes me want to knit up a storm, and i am also in the process of teaching myself to crochet using this book. i find knitting much easier, but i plan to continue with the crochet thing as well. so far, the only thing i've managed to crochet is a sock for my camera. it turned out pretty well. maybe someday soon i'll master something other than single chain crochet (which i really still haven't mastered). hopefully, this book (which i have ordered from amazon but haven't yet received) will help with that. i've heard good things about it.
















another book that i've been wanting for a long time but just now bought is one skein wonders. i have a ton of leftover balls of yarn from other projects, and i'm lacking ideas for how to use them. you can only make so many scarves, you know?

on a different note, i do plan to post a few christmas photos, but my phone line is being bitchy today, and i'll have to wait until my connection is more reliable to upload photos. for some reason, we are only getting a dial tone intermittently, and that is screwing with my dsl something fierce. so not only is my dsl not working right half the time, but i can't even use the back-up dial-up service. i have put in a call to at&t, and hopefully they will resolve the issue soon.

Bizarre Dreams

i know they say that when you're pregnant you tend to have some bizarre dreams, but this is ridiculous. i'm pretty sure that pregnancy-induced dreams are supposed to be about the baby or childbirth. true, i have had some baby-related dreams, but they've all been normal - about what life will be like once the baby arrives. i've had no weird 'i'm going to give birth to a monster' dreams.

over the past couple of nights i've been having really strange dreams that have absolutely nothing to do with babies. the night before last i dreamed that chad was friends with tom brady and i was trying to get him to go on a date with vanessa on her birthday. that totally came out of the blue. vanessa's birthday is coming up pretty soon, and she is a fan of tom brady, but still. i have no idea where that came from.

then last night i dreamed that i was a gummi bear caught in a tale of espionage while the theme song from the disney cartoon played on a loop in my head. i don't remember the details, but there was definitely a scene in the dream in which i downed some gummiberry juice and barely escaped death by some weird plunger-like bomb by bouncing the hell out of there. i can't even tell you how long it's been since i've even thought about that show, which i did watch pretty fanatically when i was a kid.

bizarre, i say. bizarre.

Getting in the Mood...

for christmas! last night i decided to bake and decorate sugar cookies while i watched the holiday again (gotta love those post-thanksgiving $3.98 dvd's). this weekend i'm going to try a gingerbread cookie recipe that katy gave me... and probably also make more sugar cookies to take over to the 'rents when we head over there for the standard christmas festivities.
































after baking up a storm, i decided to take a photo of our wee tiny christmas tree with all the gifts under it. actually, a couple of gifts aren't there anymore, and one hasn't made its way under the tree yet, but you get the idea.





















some gifts have already made their way to their recipients. vanessa, deva, chad, and i had dinner at outback sunday night and exchanged christmas gifts there since we won't see each other again until after the holiday (well, we won't see deva or vanessa until after christmas - chad and i see each other all the time since we're, you know, married and all). here's what i scored:

from deva
















from vanessa















from chad.















this was not a gift i received at outback (we bought it at wal-mart earlier that day), and it was not a surprise, but it is what i wanted for christmas - a coffee pot that i cannot shatter into a thousand pieces while i am washing it in the kitchen sink. i think that makes it worth the $60.