the sometimes senseless ravings (and the occassional rant) of an aspiring marine ecologist who may enjoy killing things a little too much

Monday, March 30, 2009

You Got the Road Rage in You

like most of us, i do a lot of driving in my everyday life. and as it turns out, i am very susceptible to road rage. i get SO pissed off at other stupid drivers. and i am the type of person who is going to get herself shot dead by someone else who also has the road rage and packs heat, because i am a honker. but i only carry pepper spray. no firearms here. when another driver wrongs me in some way, i lay on my little weenie horn and let them know about it. so, here are just a few of the things that bring out the road rage in me:
  • drivers who whip out in front of me like maniacs, forcing me to slam on my brakes. and then poke along at 30 mph. forcing me to pass their slow asses.
  • drivers who run stop signs. especially 4-way stop signs. especially when someone is already there. it happens more than you might think.
  • people who feel it necessary to put their flashers on just because it's raining. i don't honk at them, but it peeves me.
  • people who don't turn their lights on in the rain. it's a law for a reason, people. i don't honk at them, either, but i do flash my lights at them.
  • drivers who feel the need to come to a complete stop at a flashing yellow light. clearly, you have the right of way. if it's a flashing red light, then you have to stop.
  • people who don't respect the school bus stop sign. it doesn't matter if it's a 4 lane road and the bus is on the other side of a turning lane. you are still supposed to stop, asshole.
  • people who turn right on red when i am turning left with a green arrow. this also happens to me pretty often. like the other day, i was turning left with a green left turn signal (i was the 2nd car to do so), and some old guy making a right turn from a red light whips his lexus out in between me and the car in front of me. seriously, i almost creamed him. you can bet i honked at that crazy old man.
  • people who have their right turn signal on when sitting at a red light but don't actually turn until the light turns green. granted, this only bothers me when i am also trying to make the same right turn and traffic is clear.
  • you know when you see signs warning you that the left lane ends in 1 mile (1/2 mile, 1000 ft., 500 ft.)? so you have to merge? like on eastbound I-10 in mobile right before the wallace tunnel? and you know how there's always some asshole who just keeps speeding along in the left lane trying to bypass all the slower people who actually merged when they were supposed to? because surely someone will let him over when the left lane actually does end? those people make me crazy, and i do everything in my power to NOT let them merge when the lane ends. if i have to sit in slow pre-tunnel traffic, so do you. so when you're sitting there with your blinker on, waiting at the end of the left lane because you're an ass and you tried to pass everybody, i will not let you over. however, if you put your blinker on well before the lane ends instead of trying to beat the traffic system, i am happy to make room for you.
  • drivers who pass you and then go really slow. so you pass them. and start to get some distance away from them. and then they realize that you've passed them, speed up, pass you, and then slow down again. interstate leap frog is not a fun game. pick a speed and drive it.
  • you know how parking lots often have angled parking spaces and arrows indicating which direction you should drive down that lane? people who drive the wrong way in those make me crazy.
obviously, i am easily angered when i drive, and you can be sure that this is far from a complete list of my driving-related annoyances. so watch out, or i might be honking at YOU.

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