Feeling Self-Confident... and Maybe a Little Egotistical

do you guys remember my... incredulity, let's call it, over all the guys that honked at me and lindsey in grungy field clothes last semester? i just didn't get the apparent allure of a girl in dirty, raggedy jeans, a plain old t-shirt, and a ponytail. it just seems wrong that a guy could find a girl at her most appealing when she puts the least effort into her appearance. i attributed this nuttiness to the hicks that live outside the city limits where we were, but now i think that i was wrong. a girl can be at her most appealing when she doesn't try. maybe guys see that girl as one who is low-maintenance... and not afraid to get a little dirty ;) or maybe it's that 'natural beauty' thing. i don't know.

anyway, this turn-around in my thinking was brought about the other day when i put on some jeans, and a long-sleeve t-shirt under a short-sleeve t-shirt, and when i looked at myself and my ponytail in the mirror, i think i saw it. you know, what all those guys saw when they honked at me and lindsey. i said to myself, "i look hot." now, i say that to myself a lot (gotta keep the confidence up, you know), but it's usually after i take considerable time making myself cute. that night, while i was in the kitchen making dinner, chad came in and said, "you know, that's kinda hot." i was like, "cooking?" and he's like, "the t-shirt under a t-shirt." i just shook my head and laughed, but maybe there's something to that. for instance, i am also wearing a long-sleeve t under a short-sleeve t today, complete with raggedy jeans (frayed at the bottoms, with little holes forming at the corners of the pockets - man, are they comfy) and ponytail, and i swear that the eyes of every male in the USA library were on me this morning. this was not imagined, and it sort of creeped me out. i thought that maybe i had a really huge hole on the ass of my jeans or a huge booger hanging from my nose or something, but no. i didn't. i went to the library before class to do some actual work, and while i was making copies three different guys walked by and totally stared me down. maybe they really needed to make copies, too. or maybe i'm just hot in raggedy clothes (well, my t-shirt is kinda cute)... or maybe they were attracted to my bright green purse.

then, when i went over to check my email (i was waiting for a reply from dr. v. about refilling the helium), every guy at one of those computers looked up and kept looking. what's up with that? then, dr. forbes (from the chemistry dept - it's his HPLC i borrowed) saw me and came over to chat, which attracted a little more attention and a little more staring. i did not open one single door for myself today (at USA, anyway). a guy was walking into the library ahead of me, and he stopped to let me through first, another one was leaving behind me and rushed ahead to hold the door for me, another one was going into the life sciences building to get that one for me... you get the idea. it was just one of those days. maybe i should do the jeans, t-shirt, and ponytail thing every day... or maybe i imagined the extra attention. but maybe i didn't. either way, i still think i'm hot.