the sometimes senseless ravings (and the occassional rant) of an aspiring marine ecologist who may enjoy killing things a little too much

Thursday, July 13, 2006

An Awkward Visit to the Gynecologist

yeah, that annual exam deal that most women go through is not typically something i like to talk about. it's unpleasant, but over quickly. and today i feel the need to share. my appointment for the year was this morning. and it sucked.

so, i arrived ten minutes before my appointment, which was at 8:10. and of course, i was called back to an exam room fifteen minutes after my appointment time, and twenty minutes after that, the doctor came in. and he was cute. really cute. he's what you would get if you crossed jordan krestanovich with bill kinkel (for those who know what those two look like).

there should be a rule that says that a male gynecologist is not allowed to be cute. it just seems weird to me to have a cute guy poking around my private parts. my old gynecologist, who was also of the male persuasion, went and retired on me. that bastard. so i have a new gynecologist now. who is male. and who is not at all old. and who is cute. i want my little nerdy old man back. the attractive and not old guy weirds me out. he made me nervous. and he kept cracking little jokes, trying to put me at ease. like, when he listened to my heart, he said, "yep. still there." my little old man used to ask me about grad school and stuff. that's the sort of thing i can talk about with my doctor. i don't need a cute one who makes jokes. have i mentioned that it's weird?

anyway, the second item of business that weirded me out about the cute doctor was the way he introduced himself. oh, and the office has moved to a new building. so, new place, new doc, weirdness. but back to the point, he walks in (while i'm sitting on the exam table, wearing nothing but an open hospital gown with this thin paper blanket covering the exposed bits), and says, "hi. i'm cory." not "hi. i'm dr. jacobs." but "hi. i'm cory. i'm one of the OB/GYNs here." as if i didn't assume that he was a doctor. the doctor with whom i had an appointment. and he was cute. and that was fundamentally weird.

and then, he did the whole exam thing, which took two minutes, and then i was dressed and he was writing me a new birth control prescription, and then i got the hell out of there. because the whole thing was just so weird.

may none of my girls out there ever have a cute gynecologist. it's weird, man.


Holly said...

Cory the Gynecologist??? I was afraid that generation would have to grow up someday.

If my name were Cory, I would be looking for any method of not saying it out loud... I couldn't stand the snickers.

latina marie said...

yeah, dr. jacobs would definitely be the way to go. cory sounds like he should be in a boy band or something. that's the name of my little brother's childhood best friend. which is also weird.

Vanessa Mae said...

This was such a great entry. Hysterical! It was like a situation that could get written into Grey's Anatomy.

I feel for whoever marries a male OB/GYN. There's a quote from somewhere... about how weird it would be to date/marry someone who knows more about your private parts than you do.

I usually get female OB/GYNs...

latina marie said...

the idea of having a male OB/GYN doesn't really bother me... as long as he's not young and cute. like i said, the old guy didn't bother me at all.

Chelsea Leis said...

It must have been really awkward for you back then. Tsk, his cuteness made you feel weird. But his name made everything more bizarre, right? Hmm, what happened to your previous gynecologist, btw? A patient must feel comfortable while having a check-up. Is "Cory" still your gynecologist?

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