yeah, that annual exam deal that most women go through is not typically something i like to talk about. it's unpleasant, but over quickly. and today i feel the need to share. my appointment for the year was this morning. and it sucked.
so, i arrived ten minutes before my appointment, which was at 8:10. and of course, i was called back to an exam room fifteen minutes after my appointment time, and twenty minutes after that, the doctor came in. and he was cute. really cute. he's what you would get if you crossed jordan krestanovich with bill kinkel (for those who know what those two look like).
there should be a rule that says that a male gynecologist is not allowed to be cute. it just seems weird to me to have a cute guy poking around my private parts. my old gynecologist, who was also of the male persuasion, went and retired on me. that bastard. so i have a new gynecologist now. who is male. and who is not at all old. and who is cute. i want my little nerdy old man back. the attractive and not old guy weirds me out. he made me nervous. and he kept cracking little jokes, trying to put me at ease. like, when he listened to my heart, he said, "yep. still there." my little old man used to ask me about grad school and stuff. that's the sort of thing i can talk about with my doctor. i don't need a cute one who makes jokes. have i mentioned that it's weird?
anyway, the second item of business that weirded me out about the cute doctor was the way he introduced himself. oh, and the office has moved to a new building. so, new place, new doc, weirdness. but back to the point, he walks in (while i'm sitting on the exam table, wearing nothing but an open hospital gown with this thin paper blanket covering the exposed bits), and says, "hi. i'm cory." not "hi. i'm dr. jacobs." but "hi. i'm cory. i'm one of the OB/GYNs here." as if i didn't assume that he was a doctor. the doctor with whom i had an appointment. and he was cute. and that was fundamentally weird.
and then, he did the whole exam thing, which took two minutes, and then i was dressed and he was writing me a new birth control prescription, and then i got the hell out of there. because the whole thing was just so weird.
may none of my girls out there ever have a cute gynecologist. it's weird, man.
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