i like birthdays. they're so much fun. it wasn't my birthday this past weekend, but my real birthday really sucked (you know, with my mom being in the hospital and all), so i didn't feel bad about pretending. i crashed at nessa's place this weekend, and she and deva treated me to an excellent weekend. we of course went to mcguires friday night for dinner (a birthday tradition in our group), and then we went to seville quarter (a really cool bar in pcola, for those who don't know what it is) for drinking and dancing. i had three drinks and was pretty sloshed (obviously, i'm a lightweight when it comes to the booze)... and as we all know, i'm a delightful drunk. so it was a blast. we took extra care getting dressed that night. we had to be sure to wear something kind of... scandalous. or slutty, if you prefer. i chose a (not at all slutty) knee length denim skirt, a top that showed a lot of skin and had strategically placed sparkles (i'll let your imagination figure out where they were), and the pride and joy of my shoe collection - my prostitute boots. they're dark brown suede with a wedge heel, and they hit just below my knees. i love them, slutty though they are.
anyway, i spent the night shutting down guys. it was kind of fun. see, i'm apparently a man magnet (i blame it on being married. i give off that 'you can't have me' vibe, and it drives the boys wild. or maybe it was my slutty boots). i'd told nessa and deva that if there was skeezy guy within 100 yards he'd come running for me, but i don't think they realized how true this was until they saw it first hand. i don't know, a couple of those guys weren't actually all that skeezy. like the first guy, zack. i thought he was checking out my girls (my back was to him, after all). i'd seen him in a few different rooms, and then the three of us decided to hang at a table for a while and people watch. every time i turned around to see if anyone interesting was coming through the door, this guy was looking over at our table, and i was like, "guys! the blond guy by the door is TOTALLY checking you out!" and about that time, he walks over, puts his hand on my back (why do they always wanna touch me?) and introduces himself. then he asks my name and i tell him, and he's like, "you're lying." which i wasn't. but i was sort of trying to draw attention to my left hand (and my wedding ring). finally, he looks down and sees it and goes "oh! you're married! sorry." then his friend walks over and goes, "hi. i'm the wingman. i'm just supposed to come over and talk." and zack's like, "dude. i'm bailing." it was pretty funny, and he was sort of cute. he should have stuck around and gotten to know my two amazing single girl pals, but alas, he did not. but he did hit on vanessa later on that night. too bad he missed his chance. you snooze, you lose, buddy.
and then there was the guy who was, like, the WORST pick-up artist EVER. he pretty much was a skeeze ball. he put his fist on the table and said, "what does this make you think of?" or something like that. i'm like, "rock!" and vanessa said that's what she thought, too. then he goes on this whole thing, playing rock paper scissors with us, and it was so WEIRD. and he kept asking what i was feeling when i was playing rock paper scissors. i was like, "like i was playing rock paper scissors." and he thought i was lying. so i said, "and like i was a little drunk." then he's like, "i'm a doctor. thanks for participating in my study." that guy asked deva to dance later on. she refused. 'cause he was a freak, man.
and then there was david, the boy i scored for nessa. we were dancing in our little girl group (but there was no ass slapping), and deva had seen this boy who was hot, and i was trying to get his attention and get him to dance with her. instead, i accidentally made eyes at the boy standing in front of him. good thing he was cute. anyway, he came over, and deva said 'hi', and he danced with us and asked me lots of questions (he liked my slutty boots), and i subtly tried to steer him toward vanessa. eventually, it worked, and they danced and talked, and at the end of the night she gave him her number. and they have a date tonight. we'll see how it goes. i'm so proud of me, hookin' up my girl (with a little help from deva).
then this other guy came over and started dancing with us, but he never said anything. his friend came over later and was trying to get the boy who didn't talk to ask me questions, and at the end of the night he was like, "i think you're the most intelligent woman i've ever met in a bar. can i have your number?" then i told him i'm married (which i told his friend, so i thought he knew that already), and he was like, "oh. sorry."
and then we were leaving, and nessa was going to give david her digits, so deva and i were waiting for her outside. there were all these people in animal suits (like mascot suits, but i don't really know who they were or why they were there) running around the bar all night, and one of them was a moose. while deva and i were standing outside, the moose came and put its arms around us (i actually suspect that the moose was a girl). then this guy came over and said something like, "these pretty girls don't want the moose touching them" or something. and he pointed at deva and said, "and this mean pretty girl's gonna kick the moose in the nuts." then the moose went away and the guy was just talking to us. i was all like, "why can't i be the mean one?" and he was making fun of how fast and excited i talk. he was like, "are you always like this?" yeah, pretty much. then nessa came out, and we were just gonna leave, and then that guy asked for my number. i said i don't think my husband would like that too much. geez. do guys not even check for rings these days?
so, that's how that night ended. the next day, we went to seaside (the SMALL town where the movie the truman show was filmed) for sight seeing and shopping. it was SO CUTE. we ate lunch at this really cute place called roly poly. it was bascially a wrap sandwich place, and it was quite tasty. after walking all over town and visiting their shops and cooing over how cute the whole place was, we headed for destin for some real shopping. i bought so much stuff... we hit the outlet mall first and spent a long time there. nessa and i bought matching dresses. they're so cute. it seems like we always end up buying something the same. 'cause we both have such good taste. deva and i bought the same clinique makeup/skincare kit. it was in such a cute bag. i am quite happy with all of my purchases, and i came away with lots of good stuff.
after the outlets, we hit destin commons for a while. i actually didn't buy anything there, but i love that place. it's so pretty. we saw a girl there who really did look slutty. her boots were much sluttier than mine. or maybe it's just that she was wearing hers with a short, slutty red dress... and it was cold. after a long day of shopping, we ate dinner at tony's ristorante, an italian place in destin commons. we ate outside. good thing they have heaters outdoors. it was delicious... i ended up taking most of my penne mediterranean home, and chad and i ate it for lunch sunday.
after dinner, we were gonna go party some more on pensacola beach, but it was pretty dead. we were all pretty tired after our late night friday anyway. i went home sunday morning with all my loot (plus all the cool stuff deva and nessa gave me).
all in all, it was a pretty great weekend.
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